Reviews in which not even the reviewer knows what he’s talking about …

Neil Peart’s dragon-tailed paradiddles and Alex Lifeson’s helix solos make the koanic hokum of Peart’s lyrics …

via Clockwork Angels | Album Reviews | Rolling Stone.

A paradiddle is a snare drum fundamental: Left-right-left-left, right-left-right-right. Peart may or may not use it in some of his drum fills, but you really have no way of knowing unless you watch him in slow motion.

Koanic? Wait — is Neil writing paradoxical questions here to free his mind for meditation? What?

Helix? Is Alex spiraling upward as he plays? I can’t picture him figure skating.

Hmmmm …

I’m reminded of Robin Williams reviewing wine: “Absurd, yet flaccid.”

Or Peter Griffin: “I find this meatloaf shallow and pedantic.”

Or Inigo Montoya:

 

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