personal


Just wanted to let people know how I interact with Facebook so that my friends from all over don’t think I’m ignoring them.

Things I don’t do, in general: Poke, Zombie bites, “Which ??? Are You,” anything that requires me to download something to let more people have my personal info.

Things I’m more likely to do: Slam book-style memes, like the 25 random things that went around for a while. That’s fun and not intrusive. Messages. Occasional chats. Wall-to-wall. Status comments. I love to hear from people! So don’t “poke” me — tell me what you’re doing!

A quick guideline on page requests: By all means, ask me. Once. Persistence doesn’t pay in this case. If you ask me over and over, I’m less and less likely to become a fan. I’m also more and more likely to de-friend you.

Other reasons I might have hidden your updates in my News Feed: Using Facebook status messages as a Twitter feed. Sending “Babe of the Day” pictures. Repeated late-night rants about why your life sucks or why Sarah Palin or Barack Obama sucks.

Things I really like to see: Pictures. I haven’t seen some of you in 20 years. I’d like to “see” you and your families. Let me know.

So the takeaway here — I’m not ignoring you. I accept most friend requests. If I actually “know” you, I’m very happy to hear from you. If you only know me as the USA TODAY guy, that’s fine, too — comment away. I’ll often respond.

Please. Go ahead. Change your order again.

Sure, I noticed that you gave one whole order with three or four items, then changed the whole thing without thinking about it. No problem. Go right ahead.

And then after the cashier gave you a total, you made a few more changes. That’s fine. In fact, I’m impressed that you’re able to do so as if it’s completely normal, without so much as an “Oh, I’m sorry, can I change X to Z?” Really nice.

I don’t think anyone in the line that has gathered behind me minded at all when you finally finished your order but didn’t move, instead choosing to pick up random packages of cookies to examine them as if shopping for melons. That’s fine. We’re too rigid in society these days, thinking of the Starbucks cash register as a place for us to tell the staff what we’d like. Why shouldn’t it be a place for you to take a few minutes to peruse things you’re not going to order?

Or are you? After all, you’re perfectly within your rights to continue your improvisation after your order has been placed. Sure, you said “double-shot caramel macchiato,” but we know you really meant “bacon and egg sandwich on a garlic bagel.”

The staff here is wonderful — I’ve bonded with many of them while writing much of my book here and doing plenty of blog posts and the occasional newspaper story. Why not take the opportunity to get all four of them to help you? One can remake your latte — it was a latte, right? Another can get your kid’s milk — oh, and you want that in a glass, of course. We’ll send the manager over to heat half of your sandwich as you requested, and the other person can go out back and slaughter a goat to provide the meat for that rare Lebanese delicacy you’ve just added to your order.

By this time, whatever you’ve paid is a mere approximation of what you should’ve paid for your revised order. That’s OK. I tip the staff well, and I’m sure the people in the line — now reaching to the door — also will drop in some change.

So please do continue with no acknowledgement toward the other customers who are waiting. That way, you won’t notice that I just took the original latte you ordered out back for a second and quickly replaced it. Hope you enjoy the “extra shot” in your beverage.

After some year-end number-crunching, here’s what people read — and what they overlooked:

Top stories:

1. U.S. women rout New Zealand to reach quarterfinals. Not surprising in the sense that it’s Olympic women’s soccer, which accounts for most of these. Surprising in the sense that this was their least interesting game, and I covered it by TV and phone.

2. Weight lifted with U.S. soccer victory, gold. The biggest event I covered, and in re-reading it, I’m still happy with the story.

3. Liddell KO gives Evans shot at UFC light heavyweight title. We started covering MMA in earnest this year, and it paid off. This was the first UFC card I attended, and it was worth it.

4. UFC has fight on its hands against Elite XC. Funny to read that headline in retrospect, but this was a breakthrough story — my first cover story and, as far as I know, our first MMA cover story. A headache to write — try summing up a sport’s history and its current political/business in-fighting in one piece that isn’t a 10-page magazine spread — but worth the effort.

5. USA secures rematch with Brazil for gold. Not my favorite bit of writing this year, with a lead that seems a little disjointed upon re-reading it months later, but this was a vital game in Beijing.

6. Words heat up for colossal Shamrock-Slice showdown. Quotable guys, to say the least.

7. In year 1, Beckham on target for MLS.  Should’ve been higher. Exclusive interview with one of the world’s very biggest celebrities.

8. Russian Emelianenko brings big reputation to the States. Another exclusive with a big name, though not quite as big as Beckham. In Beckham’s case, I was literally alone with him — in Fedor’s case, we were talking by phone via translator.

9. Kai scores winner in extra time; U.S. women advance. Another big game in China, another one I covered by TV and phone.

10. UFC champion Couture has been MMA’s elder statesman. Another good exclusive interview, but I really didn’t have the time or space to do much with it.

13. Tiny Iceland on verge of handball glory, sans Bjork. Skipped a couple of routine MMA stories to dig up my best-read non-soccer story from China. Interesting numbers you can see here — no comments, 42 “recommends.” That’s unheard-of.

Here are the ones that, in my humble opinion, deserved a bit more interest.

- American men’s soccer team settles for 2-2 draw with Netherlands. One of the best games I’ve ever seen.

- Striking career for Fire’s Brian McBride. Cover story overshadowed by the World Series. There are some back stories behind this story that I won’t get into. They have nothing to do with Brian or the Fire, both of whom couldn’t have been more gracious.

- Revenge not on Jackson’s mind in third bout vs. Silva. Must have been an early Christmas lull on the site, because this is an interesting guy.

- Gold medalists return home as new pro league. Maybe the headline should’ve read, “Hey! More about Hope Solo!”

- From bar fights to Vegas lights, Torres has striking career. One of the most exciting guys in MMA, and a great interview, too.

- Last shot sinks American again. Just read it. Amazing turn of events, and the story turned out well. My story, that is — I’m not saying I wanted to see Matt Emmons miss. I actually remember gasping when I saw the score pop up.

- U.S. women get team sabre bronze; Ukraine is upset winner. Emotional day in Beijing. Also one of the more interesting interview settings for me — Becca Ward was leaving Beijing the next day to go to freshman orientation at Duke, something I know a bit about it. I jokingly asked her why she’d do that, and she responded with a fantastic quote.

- Crooning Crew fans band together in show of support. “Columbus ’til I die, Columbus ’til I die …”

- American falters on badminton’s big stage. How often do you get a glimpse inside one of the biggest sports in Asia? IN Asia.

No Olympics in 2009, but I hope to get a few more interesting stories out of it.

Specifically, mine, but many are applicable to other journalists as well.

1. Think broader, read deeper. Books in my in-pile include …

The Crusades: A Short History. Not that short, actually.

Bowling Alone. A study of Americans’ retreat from public life into their cozy homes, doing less in public groups.

The Unfinished Presidency. Douglas Brinkley’s study of the remarkable post-presidency life of Jimmy Carter.

Public Intellectuals: A Study in Decline. I remember starting this and thinking the definition of “intellectuals” was a little too narrow. This might just be a complaint from the author that he’s never booked on TV talk shows because their attention spans are too short. Valid complaint, but not necessarily the right guy to make it.

Big Game, Small World. Alexander Wolff loves basketball in all its forms, and while I wouldn’t agree that it’s on the verge of surpassing soccer globally, I’d like to see what he found in checking out the rest of the world’s skills.

2. Don’t complain. Reinvent. For most journalists, this means ignoring sinkholes of insight like Gannett Blog (begging the question “These people were employed as journalists?”) and figuring out how to move forward in a difficult economy. For me, it also means getting in shape. I’m also planning to work on my writing this year. (I’ve never been one of those “find your voice and stick with it” people, especially not in this day and age.)

3. Get out of the rut. Journalists tend to get tunnel vision. Don’t we all? This is a good perennial. Go see something you don’t usually see.

4. Think about charity. For journalists, this means thinking beyond government when it comes to solving problems. NGOs rarely get much mention, though they work they do should often give us reasons to remember that the atrocities and misery of the world are exceptions, not rules. (Granted, there’s also a watchdog role to play in covering charities.) For me, it means remembering to support my organizations:

Schools: Athens Academy, Duke

Health concerns: Alzheimers Association, MS Foundation, Leukemia and Lymphona Society, Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund, Humane Society of Fairfax County

Relief groups: Red Cross, Episcopal Rescue and Development

Public life: WETA, Rails to Trails Conservancy, National Wildlife Federation

Local care: Capital Area Food Bank, Catholic Charities, Vienna Volunteer Fire Department

The gamut: Carter Center

5. Don’t waste time with pointless conflict. Equally applicable to my Web-browsing habits and journalists’ news judgment. Particularly on cable, where the easiest way to fill time is to get a couple of people to yell at each other. Sometimes, that’s utterly contrived — I had a fun conversation with Frank Shamrock about his appearance on Outside the Lines, in which he suddenly found himself being asked to defend the sport of mixed martial arts in light of the film clips of 7-year-olds wailing on each other in the presence of inattentive coaches and officials. (As opposed to earlier times, when 7-year-olds wailed on each other in the presence of inattentive parents and teachers.)

6. Enjoy every sandwich. Zevon lives.

I see three basic options:

1. The Neil Peart “Just doing my job” look:

2. The Terry Bozzio “I’m passing a kidney stone” look:

UPDATE: I have no idea what causes someone to disable embedding on a YouTube video. If it’s violating copyright, why isn’t it taken down? So anyway, here’s the link to the Bozzio video.

3. The Mike Mangini “This is FUN, dammit!” look:

And if you want to see a drum solo I actually played once upon a time (no, it’s not me in the video), check this out:

In my senior recital, I actually nailed the section starting at 2:22, which surprised me so much that I botched a couple of notes in the marimba solo that followed. Which is bad, because no one would’ve had any idea if I’d missed something in this one.

And for the record, since Duke had no timpani mutes, I used some gym socks.

Just really, really busy at work. That’ll wrap up in time for the holidays, at which time you’ll likely see a few more posts while I procrastinate on Christmas cards.

The following conversation took place in our house tonight:

MMM Jr. (slowly): “What’s an ap-pren-tice?”

Mrs. MMM: “Oh, that’s like a padawan.”

“The blues ain’t about feelin’ better. The blues are about making other people feel worse.” — Bleeding Gums Murphy

Journalists and blues musicians have a lot in common besides poor dental hygiene. We are all too often purveyors of misery, distilling our angst into 500-word stories instead of 12-bar blues songs.

That’s probably for the best. Otherwise, you’d have this …

Ohhh, my job is boring
No one here can think or speak
I said ohhhh, my job is boring
No one here can think or speak
And if that ain’t bad enough, no
I hear we’re getting buyouts next week

A little venting is healthy. Mrs. MMM would say I do all too much. (Then again, I know far much more about her former co-workers than she does about the 10 people who have at least nominal authority to tell me what to do, so I’ve managed to hold something back.)

The danger strikes when we journalists get so wrapped up in our misery that we fail to open our eyes and see what’s actually around us. Our job is, after all, to tell people what we see. Isn’t it? Hang on — I’ll ask the 10 people … nah, they’re not around. We’ll stick with that assumption for now.

As you probably know or assumed from the lack of posts on this blog, I was in China for the Olympics. I can’t imagine anything that compares to the experience of covering the Olympics. You see the interplay of cultures, the mingling of different talents and the wonder of exotic locales both natural and man-made.

The downside is that you hang out with a lot of other journalists.

I met a few people in China that you may have heard of, and many of them are disarmingly nice and refreshingly open to far-reaching discussions. I talked about gender roles and cynicism with Mechelle Voepel, whose work you may have seen around the Web. I shared a table tennis mixed zone interview with two other journalists and quickly realized that the polite guy asking most of the questions was Mitch Albom.

Others, well, not so much. Some people simply dwell in a realm of negativity, barely looking at the sports spectacle in front of them while waiting for something to tear down. Surrounded by a massive festival of interesting people from around the world, they prefer to chat with each other about how stupid everything is.

It’s easy to be cynical about the Olympics. A lot of Big Companies pay a lot of money to have a presence at the Games. These Games were in China, so the holier-than-thou “how dare people enjoy themselves in light of the poverty in much of the country and the policies on Darfur and Tibet” column was in vogue.

But when you’re immersed in the Games, you have to have thick blinders to miss the other half of the story. I wish I could’ve asked the journalists from Kazakhstan why they were laughing. I knew why the Aussies were laughing — if you want a party, you follow either the Aussies or the Dutch.

Then the athletes are such remarkable stories. You find people who dedicate themselves to something obscure like modern pentathlon in the hopes of getting to this stage. Then you interview a 16-year-old with precocious wit who explains why she kissed her horse and a 40-year-old in her third Olympic sport explaining how she didn’t quit when her wayward fencing took her out of medal contention with several hours to go.

Sure, I failed to mention China’s politics in that story. But I haven’t read anything along the lines of “Brett Favre, competing in a country that has decrepit, half-demolished housing along the main train line in Baltimore and has a president who certainly isn’t popular with the Dutch journalists, signed with the Jets today.” (Yes, the Dutch journalists were eager to share their opinions.)

I don’t mean to take a completely relativist point of view here. No country is perfect, but some certainly have bigger problems than others. It’s just that there’s so much more to life than the vagaries of the power elite. Why not take time to learn about a fencer who has come up agonizingly short in past Olympic competition but won a silver medal two days before he started business school? Why not marvel at the shooter who made an astounding mistake to let a medal slip through his grasp, then met the love of his life as a Czech shooter came up to offer sympathy?

On the flip side of the sports politics coin is unabashed provincialism. As much as I love the BBC in so many way, their live commentary was hysterically over the top in boosting the sports in which “Team GB” was faring well and cutting down others. “Why have TWO forms of volleyball?” harrumphed one commenter whose words were deemed worthy of the general discussion. No one seemed to mind all the various permutations of riding a bicycle in circles that made Bradley Wiggins the Michael Phelps of Britain.

Outside the velodrome, some Olympic experiences can indeed be frustrating. I’ve already shared my experience on an overnight train with a teeming mass of humanity and rubbish, having been shooed away from the media bus I was supposed to take. And I can see how the sense of adventure I get when stepping into a taxi with no communicated certainty of arriving anywhere my destination would fade after it happens 10-15 times.

But if you’ve grown tired of the overall experience, there’s a very simple solution. Stay home.

That usually won’t happen because, as my blues song hinted above, journalists are quick to complain but hesitant to do anything to solve the problem. Many people who find themselves forced to look for new employment are pleasantly surprised by what they find. Taking that first step, though, is a mental block, particularly when you don’t understand the forces that are changing the industry.

Consider this blog, chronicling the difficulties of one media company as if those difficulties were confined to that media company. All he succeeds in doing is driving down morale among people who were already grumpy in the first place. I’ve met this blogger, and I can offer an analogy for his comprehension of the business: If he were analyzing the Washington Capitals’ ouster from the NHL playoffs, he’d likely say the Caps were at a disadvantage because their playing surface is covered with ice.

Cynicism is one common theme in all the problems listed above. Yet that cynicism is so pervasive because it’s so convenient. Once journalists find a convenient frame for a story, it’s hard to shake them out of it. That could be the BBC’s UK-up, US-down motif. It could be the insistence on viewing the Olympics as a mere exercise of political and corporate power, even if the Athletes’ Village and the arenas reflect a different reality.

Frames make stories predictable and therefore easy to write. A danger all journalists face is applying those frames to even the most mundane stories.

One day in a previous job, we were discussing coverage plans as a hurricane was about to strike the coast not too far away from us. Someone eagerly went through our plan and how it would follow the hurricane’s track from Town A to Town B. I quickly interjected that hurricanes were rarely so predictable (especially 10-15 years ago) — I had once been in Virginia Beach waiting for a hurricane that basically changed its mind and headed out to sea. A few moments of silence followed then, “So it’s NOT going to hit Town B?”

The pervading frame on political stories is conflict, often portrayed in sports metaphors. That’s why you may have read that Sarah Palin came out swinging, landed jabs, hit a home run and caught Obama leg before wicket. (OK, sorry, the Aussie influence creeped in again.)

We’re only human, and we’re all tempted to fall back on simple frames of reference. Political commentary, particularly in a busy world with a short attention span, is stuck in a red-blue dichotomy that fits well with the people who want to spend their days yelling at each on Web sites. These are often the same people who react to journalism layoffs and staff cuts by assuming it’s because the news organization is “too liberal.” If only they knew that people are far more likely to cancel their subscriptions because the delivery person keeps tossing the paper in the bird bath or, heaven forbid, they took Mary Worth off the funny pages. (Or that the assumptions of political bias are far, far more complicated than they’re assuming. Start here if you’re curious.)

But here’s the good news: There’s hope. Readers will, with only a little plodding, pick up on interesting stories like the Iceland handball saga (part 1, part 2).

We often beat ourselves up in journalism because we can’t attract young readers. The key isn’t writing about whatever MTV is airing these days instead of videos. The key is looking through young eyes.

So here’s the New Rule (apologies to Bill Maher): Check your cynicism at the door. Or check out.

In case you think I’ve been neglecting all things musical and media-ical while immersing myself in the sweat-soaked world of sports, check out the Chart Attack I contributed to Popdose a few days after returning from China. It’s a trip back to around the time I was born, when life was simpler (aside from the constant threat of nuclear annihilation that means I can’t really blame kids of the ’70s for being potheads) and music was better (aside from … well, nothing).

I also have a massive tome on what I learned about journalism and cynicism, but it’s not ready yet. I’ll let you know. Or your RSS reader will let you know. You subscribe, right? Or do you just come back here and hit reload even though I don’t write that often?

I might do some revamping soon, perhaps combining this with a Twitter feed so that I’ll have more frequent short items interspersed with my massive tomes.

Since I’ve been slack about sharing my experiences since returning, having Twittered and blogged them in vivid detail while over there, here are a few videos to show what I couldn’t possibly describe.

Here’s the light show all around the main venues at night.
Light show at the Olympics
@ Yahoo! Video

Here’s the trip up to the Great Wall, with a view of the trip down:
Riding up to and down from the Wall
@ Yahoo! Video

And then there’s the hockey venue, where tons of people in the familiar volunteer shirts apparently rehearsed something with the mascots:
Kung Fu Fighting in Beijing
@ Yahoo! Video

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