More from the Golden Age of Videos

I can picture the conversation …

“Yeah, Nigel? I’m having trouble with a concept for this video here.”

“Sure, what’s the problem?”

“Well, it’s a solo artist, but he’s not a singer. There’s nothing particularly interesting about him from a visual standpoint.”

“Hmmm … who sings?”

“Um … hang on … I’ve got his name somewhere …”

“Wait — never mind. I’ve got it. Pretend you’re doing an audition for singers.”

“Well, I suppose that might work. But wouldn’t get a little repetitive?”

“Why not throw in some celebrities and some gag singers?”

“Sounds good. Who can we get?”

“How about the guy who plays Tattoo?”

“Isn’t he dead?”

“Not yet. It’s only 1985. And we’ll get Donny Osmond to play against type. And Dr. Joyce Brothers and Parker Stevenson.”

“To sing?”

“Nah. Joyce will just explain the underlying psychological concept. Parker will just stand in line to audition and then introduce himself.”

“Neat, but can we get some real singers?”

“Sure. Let’s get Marilyn McCoo, who’ll be awesome. And Jon Butcher. And Jimmy Hall, since he actually performs on the track.”

“Hmmmmm. Will this actually work?”

“Hey, enjoy it while you can. In a few years, videos will be nothing but special effects and helicopter shots.”

“Good point. OK, action!”

Here you go … Jeff Beck’s Ambitious.

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