When I go to get my shoes shined, I gotta take their word

I miss my former work buddy Melissa in part because she so often would say what I was thinking.

Oops, she did it again, going against the grain on the Britney Spears performance at the Video Music Awards.

No, she wasn’t enraptured by the performance (video here). Whether it was a case of skipping rehearsal or “freezing” on live TV, it was quite clearly another step in her ongoing self-destruction. That, like a lot of things involving celebrities, would be funny if kids weren’t involved.

Melissa’s point, and I wholeheartedly agree: Call her indifferent, lazy, self-destructive, judgment-impaired, whatever. But “fat”?

No. Britney Spears has no visible six-pack, and you can’t play xylophone on her ribs. That’s not “fat.”

I just came back from a class reunion in which people told me I looked great. If I had been dancing in Britney’s outfit, the headlines would’ve read: “Is MMM pregnant?” (The top, like Mr. Costanza’s “manssiere” in Seinfeld, would’ve provided useful support.)

So as far as Britney goes — wouldn’t we have had more reason to worry if the mother-of-two had shown up looking like Calista Flockhart?

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2 Responses to When I go to get my shoes shined, I gotta take their word

  1. Neel Mehta says:

    Now that a few days have passed since our long national nightmare, I have two comments:

    1. Britney is not fat. Not even remotely. True, she could have sucked in her gut (the muscles are still there), but clearly she was going for the drugged-out, distracted stripper look. She deserves ridicule and lasting career damage for being unprofessional out there, not for the very human mistake of no longer having a pre-baby body.

    2. Kanye West is right, and not just about George W. Bush. He blames MTV for exploiting Britney by making her open the show. I agree: MTV is at fault for even thinking that Britney would make a good opening act. I saw it on TV, and I remembered looking at the bewildered audience reactions and thinking each of them (Rihanna, 50 Cent, even Diddy) would have done a better job. In fact, that Britney opened instead of Rihanna seems like a bit of a racist decision, and I’ll say it even if Kanye didn’t.

  2. Mrs. MMM says:

    You do NOT have manboobs.

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