Here’s a good checklist with my responses:
Written a 15-inch story in 30 minutes
Check. For those not in journalist, that’s about 525-600 words, depending on your newspaper’s design.
Corrected a loved one’s grammar in a greeting card
To their faces? No. I’ll give myself a half-point.
Replaced one of the major food groups with coffee
Caffeinated soda. Another half-point.
Own your own police scanner
No way. But I know some who have.
Eat in your car more often than you do at a table
At times, yes.
Gotten fired/laid off for no good reason
No, but I’m lucky.
Forgotten what it’s like to have the weekend off
Can no longer read a newspaper without scanning for typos and errors
Oh my, yes.
Learned that being told to “**** off “ and “go to hell” is part of the job
Woke in a cold sweat thinking you forgot to change the date on A1
See, here we drift into copy editing rather than reporting. I’ve spent plenty of years on copy desks, so … yes.
Spend your down time coming up with the perfect lede
What’s “down time”? I guess I’ll say yes.
Slept in your car and not because you were too drunk to drive home
That’s a little extreme.
Found that fine line between harassment and persistence
With apologies to a few people, yes.
If you needed bail, the first person you would call would be your editor
Nah. I have a lawyer in the family.
You analyze city council meetings the way sportscasters break down Monday night football
All political writers want to be sports writers. I took the honest way out and wrote about sports.
You think it’s normal to work 16 hours a day for 8 hours pay
Have conducted a phone interview while completely naked
Completely? No. Does it count to do an interview from the toilet?
Can write an entire interview on a cocktail napkin
Threatened to quit over an editorial decision
Sort of. More of a staffing decision.
You couldn’t imagine doing anything else
Oh, come on — give me some credit. I still imagine being a bassist.